Barry Moser Bible
Barry Moser

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"...it opened the door to a project, the nature of which would push me to the limits of my endurance and capabilities. Would thrust me into five years of celibacy and solitude. That would challenge my intellect and my sense of daring. That would plunge me into the world of ecclesiastical music, to the exclusion of all other music -- except at martini time...."

"But when my journey ended and the work was no longer there to sustain me, I was downright lonely for it. And then one night, as I sat on the edge of my bed, getting ready to turn off the lights and listening to the first strains of Thomas Victoria's Missa pro Defunctis, I was overwhelmed by a deep and painful loneliness. So painful tears pearled up in my eyes and ran down my cheek. I was staring into the dark space of my bedroom and said, out loud, 'I miss you.' And then the emotions came on like gangbusters. My throat swelled to near closing. The shoulders began to heave with sobs, and then I thought, 'Why don't you just get down on your knees and pray, you son of a bitch?'

'What? Are you kidding me? I haven't done that in fifty years.'
'Are you too good to get down on your knees?'
'No, it's just that I am going to feel really stupid if I do.'
'Yeah? So what?'
'But my knees hurt when I get down on them.'
'Tough luck, mister. Prayer ought to be painful for you.'

"And so I did. Hauled my naked self off the bed, eyes blurry with tears, took a pillow off the bed and threw it on the floor next to the bed and knelt down on it. And I prayed. Or at least I began to pray. But like setting out to do this Bible I didn't know where I was going with it. Or why, really. Or how. I was just compelled to do it. So I did."

Jacob And The Angel

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December 15, 2017
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